I love food. It used to be a contentious relationship back when I ate what barely passed as food on a regular basis. Getting drunk on Bud Light and stuffing my face with Taco Bell. That was a dark time food and I went through. Like all dark times, it was during my 20s. As a child, food was family. My grandma and I spent quality time in the kitchen together. I already mentioned our baking adventures in Cookie Monster. I’m grateful that food and I are on the best of terms. I give Philly credit for that. I’ve joined CSAs, a food co-op, and a cow share since living in Philly. I know more about my food and where it comes from. I understand how (fresh, local) food has the power to strengthen communities. I am a better cook and transform food in ways I never imagined. I grow tomatoes (poorly) and peppers (awesomely) on my concrete patio because growing my own food deepens my love and appreciation for the whole foods from the earth. I eat real food, and I want to share real food with everyone, so they too can have a healthy, guilt free relationship with food. Thanks, food, for being so much more amazing in your least processed, freshest form.
Stop, take a breath, and pay attention. The panic is subsiding as I start to discover paths.
I like winter. I’m a winter person- I blame the German heritage. But, I like winter like I like any season because, truthfully, I’m a seasons person. Today, I write a heartfelt letter to Spring.
You may have heard that your arrival is the talk of the northeast US. I know we’ve not always been on the best of terms. Perhaps you think you’re my least favorite season. I’m here to tell you I feel differently this year. Please come as scheduled. No need to be fashionably late after Winter decided to come to the party early, party way too hard, and overstay its welcome. We need you, Spring. I appreciate you, Spring. I won’t grumble once about your awkward smells, crazy winds, or rainy days. I will revel in your warmth and lack of accumulation. Thank you, for being you. Please hurry.
Molly, proponent of equal time for each season
After the last blog, I had a difficult time writing again. I’m feeling immobilized by the need for change. What now? What do I do? The answer is a meditative yoga class and a good heart-to-heart with Dan (fueled by the craft beer fest). I’m so grateful to have a supportive and loving partner in crime (no, not Haley - she would prefer if my path in life meant staying home to be on call to answer her every whim). But, let me go back to yoga for a moment. I hadn’t been to Mother Heart Yoga Studio for a month. Work travel, bronchitis, and the Cleveland mini-vaca had kept me away. I went back to the classical yoga class taught by the owner, Dawn, on Saturday mornings. Dawn is full of an amazing energy that is both comforting and energizing, and every class I take with her is nothing short of exactly what I need at that moment. Saturday’s class was no different -if anything, it was even more what I needed. I fell into a meditative state during the practice, making it even easier to slip into a deep meditation during savasana. I was overcome with a combined feeling of lightness and panic that almost made me cry. So, yeah, that’s how I’m feeling these days. Lightness because I know what I need to do. Panic because I’m not sure where to start, and seeking out what makes my heart sing is overwhelming. I’m grateful that I have a yoga experience that is more than poses, and gives me a space to go inward to better understand this thing called living. Now, I just need to get over this panic and focus on the light.
I’m comfortable. Too comfortable. I have settled where I should be striving for change and following my heart. Gratitude is revealing this even more as I examine that which I’m most grateful for…and what areas of my life are never touched upon here. It’s not an omission that goes unnoticed. What do you want to be when you grow up? asked you to share your story of becoming who you want to be. My Google chat status is the E.E. Cummings quote, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” Damn it, I just haven’t figured it out yet, but I’m inspired to be more open and explore. I need to be prepared for what the universe brings, but even more importantly, I need to stop being comfortable and seek out the opportunities. The Universe won’t do much for me while I sit back and settle. I’ll take the advice of my yogi teabag today, and live in my strength rather than placing it aside.
Today was reminiscent of warmer weather. I commuted via bike for the first time in two months! I debated whether it was a good idea because I had so much other activity planned, but the sum of it all has led me to shout, “I am healed!” After 8 weeks and 4 illnesses, I’m back. Bike 4 miles to the gym. Run 1 mile on the treadmill. Half hour with my trainer, 2.6 mile walk at lunch, bike 4 miles home, and 1 hour of small group training to top it off. The cherry, if you will. How do I feel?! Tired. But, it’s a normal tired for such a full day (I worked in between all this after all), and I needed to have a day like this. A day to end the sick silliness of 2014. Today, I’m grateful to go back to my (above) normal activity level. I’m giddy with the endorphins (& annoying Dan, of course). My body and I are finally in agreement. I (begrudgingly) pay attention to my body’s aging and signs of sick, and, well, my body STOPS picking up every random illness (& let’s clear up this golfers elbow BS too, ok). Deal? Deal.
I have seriously slacked on my daily gratitude entries. I have an excellent excuse though. It has been Dan’s birthday celebration weekend. There was dinner, drinks with friends, and dancing! Going out dancing was Dan’s gift to me. We trekked out to the ‘burbs for an evening of social dance with lots of old people. We know how to party on a Saturday night. Seriously though, it was a lot of fun and a treat follow up to our Friday birthday fun times. I took Dan out to alla spina, and they had something extra special in the specials.
Yep, a whole hog head is how we celebrate. It may have been a little much for me because I had to bail a little early on drinks with friends post pig head. My gratitude floweth over after a weekend like this. I’m thrilled to celebrate the love of my life on his birthday. All the friends who spent time with us on Friday and Saturday- well, you guys rock. I learned something about myself as a dancer (more fun, less worries, and dance how you like) and had so much fun dancing with my babe (& I think we’re finally ready to do more social dance outings). Happy birthday, Dan. I’m grateful for you this year and all the years to come. The only one who perhaps didn’t enjoy your birthday was this guy